A letter from the past
by favamelie
Summary: April and Jackson grew up together. Life and fate separated them. April lives in Moline, Jackson in Boston. What happens when a letter from the past makes them rediscover their friendship? Japril AU. Rating M in later chapters.
1. 1 A letter from the past

**Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at writing fanfictions and, most of all, English is definetely not my first language. So please, keep that in mind while reading this story. This is probably going to be a 5-7 chapters fic. Something light and easy to help us endure the drama going on in the show. **

**I hope you'll like it. Please let me know with reviews and messages. **

**Last but not least: thank you Hilly and Carina for your support and your help with English. You're precious.**

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><p>It was Friday night and it was so damn cold. Winter was definitely April's least favorite season, especially since she came back to Ohio after her graduation in California. She used to like the snow when she was a little girl, she loved building funny snowmen with her sisters and having snowball fights with her friends. She remembered that night, when her grandpa taught her how to make an angel in the snow. She remembered how happy she was, lying there on the ground, looking at the sky, trying to recognize the constellations and listening to all the funny stories he had to tell. Now the snow was way less romantic. It was cold and dirty at the sides of the streets, the ice was everywhere and that particular day she had slipped three times already. As if that was not enough, work has been crazy. She'd opened her own little office the year before and she was very proud of it. She was the only veterinarian in Moline and helping animals was probably her favorite thing in the world. That day, though, she had to help four cows deliver their calves and spent the last two hours performing a gastric lavender on a little dog and reassuring its old owner that her dog would be just fine, if only she would stop giving him chocolate to eat. For these reasons, she was in a very bad mood when she entered the farm, slamming the door of the living room and running upstairs to her room as fast as she could.<p>

"Is this any way to close the door, lil miss? Do they all slam them in Califorina?" April's mother asked, appearing on the doorframe, without even knocking. Karen Kepner was a sweet, perky lady. Very much like April, much more than her daughter liked to admit. She'd always been a stay-at-home mother. Her whole life has been about her daughters and her husband. She felt so empty when the three of them left for college that she almost jumped from joy when April, her youngest girl, the only one who wasn't married yet, asked her parents to host her for a little while, allowing her to open her office and earn enough money to live on her own. That's why she couldn't help but being disappointed when April announced, a week ago, that she had finally found the perfect apartment and that she was going to move before Christmas.

"Mom, please, leave me alone! I need to get ready, Matthew will be here in 5 minutes and I still have to change my clothes"

"Are you going out with him again?" a male voice asked.

"Here we go again! Daddy, please, I'm 27 and you've known Matt since forever!"

"She's right Joe" her mom intervened, looking at her husband who was approaching them with some letters in his hands "Matthew is a nice, cute boy! He was in love with April in high school but your daughter had to study, and study…she's always been busy, busy, busy…" she said with the voice she usually used for kids "let him have his chance now! God knows…maybe I'll be finally able to organize her wedding in a few months…" she said, smiling and daydreaming already about her little girl in a white dress.

"Mom! Now don't go too far please! I've been dating him for two months, I like him and I'd appreciate it if you, dad, could be nice to him! But marriage is not in the picture" April started pushing her parents out of her room "So, now, guys, please, I really need to get ready. See you tomorrow, don't wait up for me"

"Wait, honey bunny, I found this in the mailbox for you" said Joe, handing her one of the letters he was holding "and, hey, be careful with the guy and remember: if he does anything you don't want to, you call me and I…"

"Dad! I know… don't worry" April smiled, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, taking the letter and finally closing the door. She'd always been a daddy's girl. She loved him so much, she loved that he was so protective of her. But now she really needed to move out of her family house and living her life like a grown up woman. She threw the letter on her desk, hurrying to finally put on something nicer than her street clothes when something caught her attention. The farm's address on the envelope was written in a very childish calligraphy, a calligraphy she still remembered very well. She sat on the bed, and looking closer at the envelope she noticed that the date on the stamp was 15th December 1998. She couldn't believe it. She immediately opened it and she had her final confirmation. It was a letter from Jackson. The letter she waited and waited for and never received when she was ten years old. And years later, there it was! She found herself thinking about her childhood's best friend again, after so much time. Doctor Catherine Avery has been their neighbor for ten years. She worked at the nearest hospital and she was so busy at work that Jackson, her only child, used to spend a lot of time on the farm. Karen adored him and he immediately became April's best friend. He was just 2 years older than her and they had a lot in common. They loved dogs, and running in the fields, and ice skating in the winter. They used to spend hours reading adventure books, dreaming of becoming pirates, princesses, warriors or explorers. When Catherine had to leave for Boston, for a better job, April and Jackson spent two days trying to organize the perfect escape. They wanted to leave for the Caribbean and live on the beach like Robinson Crusoe. Above all, they wanted to stay together. April cried for days when reality took over and he had to leave for good. They kept in touch for a few months, writing letters every week, until he didn't answer back anymore. She was sad and mad at him. It has been her first real friendship letdown. The first of a long series.

A huge smile appeared on her face when she started reading the letter:

_"Dear April,_

_Please send me pics of the __puppies; I can only imagine how beautiful they are! I'm happy Sophie is fine, she's a dog-mommy now!Wow!_

_I went ice-skating with Brian yesterday…but it's different here. There's an artificial track, our frozen lake is so much better! I miss it and I miss you! No one is like you here…Brian is cool but I don't laugh with him like I used to laugh with you. And also…he doesn't know how to play blind-man's buff, can you believe it? Kids are weird here! I promise, I'm saving all the money grandpa is giving me…as soon as I have enough money to buy the plane ticket, I'm coming back. Do you think your mom will adopt me? And if she adopts me…do you think you could still be my girlfriend? Because I'd like you to…to be my girl, I mean. Grandpa says that when you want to spend all your time with a person, it means you love that person…I want to spend all my time with you, so I think you should be my girlfriend, but only if you want to of course! Do you? Please, make a cross on your favorite answer:_

_- Yes, I want to be your girlfriend._

_- No, I want to be just your best friend._

_I won't be disappointed if you don't want to be my girlfriend, ok?_

_Let me know,_

_Bye, love_

_Jackman"_

She was still shocked. From the situation and from the fact the she spent months thinking Jackson has changed and forgot about her, while he was still the sweetest little boy in the world.

Her mother's voice, announcing Matthew was there, woke her up from her thoughts. She took her purse and quickly looked herself in the mirror. Her hair was still a mess, and she hadn't had the time to put on any makeup. She was sure that it wasn't important to Matthew. He adored her. She'd known him since they were children; actually, he was friends with Jackson too. He'd always been a kind, sweet boy. Just so different from her. She dreamt about going to college and becoming a doctor. He wanted to become a farmer like his father. He didn't like to read, he didn't like music, he was just very fond of tractors and cars, and not much more. In high school she was the nerdy girl, all science and books. People didn't like her that much. Matthew wasn't the most popular guy but he was well liked. He played football and went to parties. When he invited her to the prom, their last year, she though he was just messing with her. She realized he wasn't kidding at all when she came back from college and Matthew showed that his interest in her was still there. He'd been kind and sweet, helping her to open her office and inviting her out with his friends. She decided to give in to his advances two months ago. Maybe it was time for her to date again after the disaster with Bright. And Matt seemed like the right guy for something easy and uncomplicated. He was patient with her; he had helped her with her new apartment, getting everything ready for her to move in without complaining even once, even though she'd been nervous and neurotic the whole time. He was a gentleman. He knew she had issues and that she wasn't ready for their relationship to become too physical, and still, he reassured her he was willing to wait as long as she needed. And he was definitely handsome. They still were very different though. She loved reading novels, he only read sport news. She loved French movies, he was more of a Transformers guy. They didn't have much in common and sometimes she felt like she couldn't really talk to him. Granted, she was complicated. She used to ramble for hours about the craziest things. He tried his best to understand her but he always ended up speechless, smiling and saying something to change the topic. Maybe he wasn't the man she dreamt about when she was a little girl, but he was much better than Bright, at least.

That night he took her to their favorite restaurant in Moline. She told him about Jackson's letter - unintentionally (or purposely?) omitting the girlfriend part - and he was excited about it.

"Oh really? That's so weird! I remember that guy! He was cool, maybe a little bit too shy, huh?!" He said, eating his steak "but you can't feel guilty! It's not your fault if the post service sucks sometimes! Hey, why don't we look him up on Facebook?! I'm sure he has an account! You're the only one who still refuses to have one, Apes" He took out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and he was already opening Facebook when she stopped him:

"Wait, Matthew, don't. I mean, I, I don't know… He probably hates me now so…"

"What are you even saying? You were just kids! I'm sure he's…"

"Look, fine… I'll think about it, ok? Now please, tell me about your day…you went to the city to the supplier, right?"

She had to admit the idea crossed her mind too. She wanted to apologize to him somehow, and Facebook was probably her only chance to find him nowadays. But what could she even say? He'd probably forgotten about her by now. She wanted to think about it a little more. Alone. She decided to enjoy her night out, finally giving all her attention to her boyfriend and her dinner.

Two hours later Matthew drove her back, he parked the car in the farm's courtyard, and walked her to the door.

"See you tomorrow, then?" he asked, pecking her lips quickly, seeing Joe spying out of the window, as usual.

"Sure. And sorry about him" she said, rolling her eyes at her dad, who immediately disappeared behind the window "one more week and I'll have my own place" she said, smiling.

Matthew smirked "oh yes. I can't wait" he pecked her lips once again and went back to his car.

April entered the house, finding Joe on the couch, pretending to read the newspaper "Dad! I saw you, you know?" she said, while crossing the living room to reach the stairs

"What? I was here, reading the news…"

"Yes, sure! " she smiled "Well, goodnight reader"

He laughed "Good night honey"

She went back to her room, changed into her pajamas and then she sat at the desk. She looked at her laptop and decided that she needed to try. She registered on Facebook, spending half an hour only to search a pic in which she looked kind of pretty. And then she wrote his name in the search field. She was suddenly nervous when she saw that Jackson Avery was apparently a common name. There were a lot of accounts. She scrolled through them when a pair of blue-green eyes caught her attention. There he was. She was sure of it. He always had the prettiest eyes… and that smile! Yes, it was Jackson. She tried to spy on his profile a bit, but it was private. She decided then that she needed to grow a pair. In the end, Matthew was right! They were just kids and so many years had passed! She hoped he would be just happy to hear from her again! So, without thinking too much, she sent him a friend request, adding a short message in which she quickly explained what had happened and then she turned off the computer, feeling almost relieved. She fell asleep smiling.

That night she dreamt about frozen lakes and pirates.


	2. 2 Back to the future

**Hi guys! Thanks to all the people who reviewed the first chapter! It means a lot to me! **

**Here's the second chapter...I hope you'll like it! Let me know, as always :)**

**Thanks again (never enough) to Hilly - insideimfeelindirty - for helping me with the language. **

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><p>The hall was crowded. People in suits and dresses were eating, chatting and smiling falsely, pretending to enjoy themselves while all they really wanted to do was running out of there. Jackson was starting to feel very uncomfortable. He generally hated packed and noisy places and, most of all, he hated having to attend events like this one. Mark Sloan, his boss, had told him he needed to be there. Jackson's last novel was published two years before and Sloan convinced him that the publicists were starting to forget about him. Hence, he needed to be there and pretend he was writing the next worldwide best seller, even though he hadn't written a single chapter yet. Jackson had spent the last two hours doing exactly what he was told to and now he was trying his best to keep on smiling while Norman Altman, one of the major publishers in the country, was introducing him to his daughter, who apparently was a big fan of his.<p>

"Nice to meet you, Kristen"

"Oh wow…Jackson Avery! It's such an honor to meet you…I've read all your books!"

"Uhm…well, I actually just wrote that one novel but…"

"Oh yes, I mean…I read your book and everything about you…you're amazing…I mean…a very interesting man…very…" Kristen said, smiling mischievously.

Jackson smiled uncomfortably. These kinds of advances weren't anything new. Jackson was an attractive man and well aware of it. He was used to women offering themselves to him, just because he was handsome or because he was an Avery, the heir of one of the most relevant families in the USA. His grandfather, Harper Avery, was the God of the cardiothoracic surgery and his whole family - uncles, cousins, his own mother – were all pretty much involved in medicine or in the foundation Harper had created. It had been a surprise and a shock for them, when Jackson announced he didn't want to attend medical school after college and that his only dream was to become a writer. While his grandfather was still offended by it, his mother, Catherine, had come to terms with it and accepted her son's career. Not being able to meddle with Jackson's job, she put all her efforts in trying to influence his love life. Her favorite hobby was to introduce him to girls she loved, hoping her son would love them too. She insisted it was time for him to settle down and give her a grandchild. She hadn't spoken to him for a whole month when he left Mara, his latest girlfriend, one of Catherine's protégées. Their relationship had been important to Jackson and, for a short period of time, he had believed that maybe he was finally falling in love for the first time. Mara was a beautiful, smart girl and he was grateful to her; she'd been there for him when he was struggling writing his first novel and she celebrated his success when Mark Sloan finally accepted publishing it. She was crazy in love with him but he didn't reciprocate her feelings entirely. The truth was that he was just trying to love her the way she deserved to be loved. He soon realized that it wasn't fair to her and that being loved wasn't enough for him either. He wanted to experience the kind of love he'd written about since he was 15 years old. He never believed in soul mates, but he refused to believe that the famous butterflies in your stomach were just some corny writer's invention. He wanted to meet someone and feel the sweet torment, the need to be constantly with her, the fear of losing something that's become vital to you. He wanted to fall in love and lose himself completely in another person, feeling vulnerable but happy. If the moment hadn't arrived yet, well, that was totally fine by him. He just had to convince his mother apparently.

Pretending he was receiving a call he couldn't miss, he politely declined Kristen's offer to have a drink with her and headed outside, craving some alone time and fresh air. Fighting the urge to light a cigarette, remembering he'd decided to stop smoking a months before, he picked up his phone instead. He quickly checked his emails and then he saw a new friend request on Facebook. He was happily surprised to see April Kepner's name on the screen. He'd lie if he said that he hadn't searched for her before but he'd never found her on Facebook or Twitter. Even if the girl almost broke his heart when he was a kid, she really became only a sweet memory after a while and he'd always wanted to talk to her again. She probably was the bigger and better part of his childhood after all. He immediately accepted the request when he noticed the short message accompanying it.

_"Hi Jackson,_

_I'm April…April Kepner, from Moline. You probably don't even remember me or, if you do, I bet you hate me or something! You won't believe it but I received your letter from Dec. 1998 only two hours ago! It got lost in archives or whatever. I'm so, so sorry I didn't had the chance to answer you then! Actually, I've been mad at you for months, thinking you'd forgotten about your annoying country girl best friend and then it was all the post service's fault instead! We just had an adverse destiny I guess!_

_I went against my hate for social networks just to find you again…so, please, forgive me and my late reply to your letter (only 15 years, after all :P ). I'd love to know how are you now, where you are and what you've done with your life… I hope I'm not bothering you and to hear from you soon…good night. April_

_PS: this whole situation is kinda cool though, right? Do you remember we used to spend afternoons watching the VHS of Back to the Future? Don't you feel a bit like Marty McFly now? :P"_

Jackson had a beaming smile on his face and he started answering her right away when he heard the door opening and the unmistakable voice of Mark Sloan approaching him

"Avery my man! Why are you hiding here, all alone?" he soon noticed his smile and smirked "Oh, I see… sexting with your secret girlfriend, right?"

Jackson rolled his eyes "I just received a message from an old friend, that's it… and I needed a break! Norman Altman must have talked to my mother…he wants me to date his daughter apparently!"

"And this is bad because…?" Mark laughed, offering him a cigarette that Jackson refused "Avery…she's hot! If I were single I'd definitely take advantage… if you know what I mean"

"Well…if you were single you'd sleep with every breathing woman probably"

"Too bad you're not single anymore, right?" Lexie asked, walking towards them and immediately taking Mark's cigarette and throwing it away "and I told you, you have to stop smoking! Plus, Jackson is trying to quit and you do it in front of him? What a nice friend!"

Mark cleared his throat, suddenly kind of embarrassed "We were just kidding, love of my life" he smiled, giving her his famous puppy's eyes and hugging her from behind.

"You're so whipped!" Jackson laughed "Lex, you totally have him by his balls, you know that?"

"Oh sure! I just love seeing him all worried and guilty," she laughed, giving her husband a quick kiss on the cheek

"Ha ha…you two are so nice! Make fun of me as much as you want but the truth is that you couldn't live without me! Both of you! And Avery… your attempt at changing the topic is not working…" he looked at Lexie, smirking "you should know that our friend here is a chicken…he's hiding here because he's afraid Kristen Altman will jump him in the coatroom or something!"

"Kristen Altman? She'd jump him in front of her own father! She totally has a crush on you Jackson"

Jackson rolled his eyes again "well, too bad I'm not interested then…"

"Sure thing! I found him here, all smiling, texting, or sexting most likely… I bet he's seeing someone and he doesn't want to tell us…"

"Once again…I wasn't texting anyone…let alone sexting! But actually…no, you know what? Yes! I have a secret girlfriend that really, really, reeeally wants me to go home now… so, will you let me go?"

"Nice try, Avery! Nice try! Not working though…we need to go back inside actually, I still have to introduce you to Mr. Banks…he can't wait to hear everything about your next novel…"

"The non-existent novel you mean…" Jackson added

"Whatever… pretending is the key, man! I told you!"

"Yeah…I know!" Jackson sighed "just give me a minute, I need to call my mom"

"Oh shit… A chicken and a mama's boy…no wonder he's still single!" Mark said laughing at Lexie, dragging her back inside the hall.

Jackson shook his head. Mark Sloan was wearisome sometimes. But he wasn't just his boss, he's become one of his closest friends and he knew he cared a lot about him. He'd been patient with him and his writer's block, covering him with the management of the publishing house. The least Jackson could do to thank him was attending this event and pretending he was really writing a masterpiece.

He wanted to answer April before putting on his best straight face and returning back inside, though. He was so happy he found her again and he couldn't wait to talk to her more.

_"I can't believe it! April Kepner! The little redhead who broke my poor twelve-year-old-heart! I should probably sue the US postal service then! Years and years of therapy because of a mistake! :D_

_I'm kidding…I'm happy you found me and I can't wait to talk more! Does your aversion towards technology include Skype?! I'd like to call you and chat a little bit! I want to know everything about these last, what? 15 years? And I bet my mom would die to hear some gossip from her "beloved" Moline!_

_I'm attending a very boring work related event right now and I have to go, but don't wait years to write me back this time, ok?_

_PS: This is kinda cool indeed! Are you coming to my house with a DeLorean later in the night? Please say yes!"_

Before going back inside he quickly looked at her profile. She had literally just created it. The pic she chose was beautiful though. He remembered a tiny, little shy girl with big glasses and braids. She's always been pretty to him, but now she really seemed to be gorgeous. Her message made his night. Totally.


	3. 3 Friends again

**Thanks, thanks and thanks to all of you who reviewed or messaged me. Knowing that you're liking this story makes me really happy! **

**My dear friend Carina, I hope to make you laugh a little bit with this chapter :) Puss och kram 3**

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><p>"And here we are...back in the living room! Oh, Jackson honey! I'm so happy to see you again! You're so handsome! You were so so pretty when you were a child...but look at you now! Look at him April! Isn't he even prettier?"<p>

"Moooom... Excuse her Jackson, you know how she is..."

Jackson laughed at the other end of the phone, "Thank you Mrs Kepner."

Three weeks had passed since April's first message on Facebook and now they could officially say that their friendship was back on track.  
>April was so nervous about calling him the first time but after a few minutes she relaxed and they talked for hours. Jackson's voice had obviously changed but she could tell he was still the smart, kind, funny boy she knew years before. She was so happy when he told her he became a writer. She'd always thought he had this incredible talent to invent brilliant stories and knowing that he'd written a successful young-adult novel, appreciated both by the critics and the audience, made her very proud somehow. She made him laugh out loud when he asked if she had realized her dream to be a surgeon like his mother and she answered "Well, kind of. I'm a vet...You know I've always been more at ease with animals then people."<p>

Over the last few weeks talking to Jackson had become a pleasant habit. They texted or spoke on the phone almost everyday and they often video-called each other too. They even spent an entire evening on Skype, watching Back to the Future together, reciting the lines by heart like they used to.  
>That morning Jackson had asked April to give him a tour of the farm. He'd spent a good amount of time there when he was a kid and he wanted to see it again, even if it was only through a screen. Karen was enthusiastic when April told her she was in touch with Jackson again, so she's been more then pleased to follow her daughter around the house and be Jackson's official chaperone. She insisted in showing him every angle of the house, stables and barns included.<br>"So, what do you think? It's still all the same, right?"  
>"Pretty much, yes! Still very nice, ma'am."<br>"Oh, you should come to visit us...with your mother of course! Don't forget to tell her to call me! I can't wait to chitchat with an old friend."  
>April rolled her eyes, smiling, "Good luck to Catherine then!"<br>"What do you mean, sweetheart?"  
>April was answering when Joe arrived from the kitchen, followed by Matthew, "She meant that Catherine wouldn't be interested in knowing all the unnecessary gossip from this small, old town."<br>"Oh I bet she would, Mr Kepner! Nice to see you again, by the way," Jackson interjected, silently asking April to turn the phone so that he could see him properly. "Oh Matt! Hi!" he added, noticing Matthew behind Joe, who greeted him with a smile and a wave of the hand.  
>"Hey man! Nice to see you again!" Matthew said, approaching April and putting an arm around her shoulders. He and Jackson had already spoken during the last three weeks and April was happy to see they got along just like the old times, even if they couldn't be more different.<br>"I guess I let you two go then. You're starting to move April's stuff into the new apartment, right?"  
>"Yep! I'm here to help" Matthew said, kindly brushing April's hair and getting a dark look from her father<br>"Ok...bye guys and thanks for the tour Mrs Kepner!"  
>"You're welcome honey!"<br>"Bye Jackson, have a good day! Talk soon," April waived and turned off the phone, dragging Matthew up the stairs to take some boxes from her room, leaving her parents alone.  
>"Great, just great" Joe said, puffing.<br>"What?"  
>"My worst nightmare has just come true...two guys hitting on my little girl."<br>Karen laughed "Oh please! First of all, April is not your baby girl anymore! I wish she was too, but she's a woman and she's going to live on her own in a few days! Deal with it! Plus...she's with Matt, and Jackson is a friend, he lives far away, so..."  
>"So what!? I saw the way he looked at her and Matthew saw it too…believe me"<br>"Oh come on, you can tell Jackson cares about her a lot, yes. They were best friends and apparently still are, after all."  
>"He doesn't just care...He looks at her with lust! I'm a man, I know these things!"<br>"Well, if this is true, you're not the one who should be worried about it. And, you know what? If you're right...well, good for her! Have you seen them? Matthew and Jackson...oh..."  
>Joe rolled his eyes, knowing his wife had just started one of her interminable rambles.<br>"...they're both so handsome! So, so dreamy! Ah, I would really consider dating them both at the same time if I were in her shoes!" Karen smirked, heading into the kitchen, knowing this was the only thing she could say to distract her husband from their daughter's love life. Joe was shocked indeed. He followed her, eyebrows raised, "Don't you dare say that Karen, I swear, if you..." he slammed the door behind him. April and Matthew were coming down the stairs and heard only those last words  
>"Ehm…Please, tell me that my mother hasn't just said she's considering having a threesome with someone!"<p>

Matthew laughed out loud, "Well...She said..."  
>"No, stop, I don't wanna know...whatever she was saying, I prefer not to know"<br>He laughed again, opening the front door to put the boxes in his car.

April and Matthew spent the entire afternoon moving stuff from the farm to the apartment. It was 7 p.m. when they finally finished unpacking all the boxes.  
>"Ahhh finally!" April said, lying on her new coach for the first time.<br>"We made it! Your new home! You can move here whenever you want now, you know that?" Matthew said, sitting down, putting her legs on his lap, starting to take off her shoes.  
>April suddenly felt nervous. This was basically the first time her and Matthew were alone under a roof. In those three months of dating, their intimate moments had usually taken place in Matthew's car. She lived with her parents so the farm was totally out of the picture and he lived with two friends of his. April wasn't a fan of that dirty, smelly apartment and she definitely didn't like going there and having to share the bathroom with his disorderly friends and the random girls they took home. She was supposed to be happy and relieved to finally have a place for them. She had fantasized about this moment before. Matthew was a handsome, sweet guy and she was attracted to him but they hadn't gone much further than second base until now. He had tried to sometimes, but she had always stopped him. She told him - and herself - that she needed time, that she was still hurt from the experience with Bright and that making love in the car or with his friends in the next room wasn't the best idea. She wanted their first time together to be beautiful and romantic. So they waited but she could tell that Matthew was becoming less patient everyday.<p>

"Oh, ehm… Matt…wait, we need to go…I really have to take a shower before going out for dinner with Mer and Alex."

"Well…" he said, caressing her legs, eying her intently. "I think I've seen a shower in the bathroom here…I could use it too…" he smirked

"Right…yes… but I have to change my clothes too… I'd prefer to go home now, you know… I'm still living there and all my personal things are still there so…" she got up from the couch, dragging him with her and then kissed him deeply. "I'm sorry…I want to be alone with you too…but come on, just a few more days…"

Apparently she managed to distract him because he just smiled and nodded.

On their way back April felt a little guilty; in the back of her mind she knew that something was wrong. Sex was easy and natural for the 90% of her peers but she definitely belonged to the remaining 10%. She'd grown up with the idea of love inextricably connected with marriage and, while she refused to believe that being a good girl meant saving yourself for the right one, she ended up waiting more than her friends did in high school anyway. She'd always been shy and her insecurities about her physical appearance didn't help her feeling sexier. She'd had her first time with Bright, her first real boyfriend, in college, when she finally felt confident enough to let go of all her inhibitions, when she felt safe and loved. She didn't regret having that experience with him, no matter what happened later, no matter that Bright was the main reason why all those insecurities she'd managed to leave behind were still bothering her now. She knew that in that particular moment it had felt right and that was enough for her. Now she wanted her first time with Matthew to feel right. She needed it to feel right in order to finally be herself again.

Back at the farm, April ran to her room to quickly get ready for the night, willing herself to have fun and forget about her paranoia. She convinced herself that it was just a matter of timing and the wrong atmosphere. Tonight she was probably too tired anyway and it wasn't the right moment to overanalyze her relationship with Matthew or with sex, for that matter. She decided to focus on the fact that in a few days she was finally going to start her new life in Moline as a grown woman. That she had a job she loved and that right now, a handsome boyfriend and lovely friends were waiting for her to have fun. Thinking about all the reasons she had to be happy and relaxed she couldn't help but think of Jackson. She had spoken to him in the morning but she missed him already. When they were kids, playing with him and talking to him was almost an addiction. She had other friends but he was the only one that truly understood her. He never forced her to be different; he just accepted and loved her, with all her flaws and weirdness. Apparently nothing had changed. In the last weeks, Jackson had been incredibly important to her. She felt at ease with him and he was as addictive as before. Matthew was a little jealous at first, but she reassured him that Jackson was like a brother to her and technically she wasn't lying. Even though she couldn't say she hadn't noticed his eyes, his smile and his perfect body, it wasn't really important to her. He was much more than a beautiful face and she was honored to be his best friend again. She didn't even want to think about possible complications.

She took out her phone and quickly texted him:

"_Apartment ready! I'll give you a tour of my new home soon…without my mom this time :D Hope you had a great day! Going out dinner now…miss you, talk tomorrow? Bye Jackman_!"

Friendship was so much easier than love. Wasn't it?


	4. 4 Mama knows

**Sorry for the delay guys! Inspiration just went away for a while apparently. I hope you're still interested in this story!**

**Please, be kind and forgive any language mistake. I wanted to upload this chapter now and I haven't asked my lovely beta Hilly any help this time. **

**Hope you'll like it. Please, let me know with reviews and messages. Your opinion means everything. **

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><p>Jackson loved walking down the streets of Boston on Sunday mornings. The city was relatively quiet and he loved observing how people seemed to be so much more relaxed, enjoying some time with family and friends or jogging in the park. He was reaching his mother to have breakfast in their favorite place.<p>

Sunday breakfasts with Catherine were their family tradition. She was always so busy at work but, since he was a child, she tried her best to have Sundays off and enjoy some time with her boy. When they lived in Moline, Jackson often felt different from his friends. First of all, he hadn't a father. Alexander Avery left his mother when he was four years old and he didn't even try to keep in touch with his son after that. And then Catherine wasn't the kind of mother all his friends had. She was strong and independent. She hated cooking and baking. She was always at work and when she was home she was usually busy reading medical journals. She really dedicated time to her son only on Sundays taking him out for their waffle-breakfasts while all his friends were at church. During his childhood, Jackson had hoped for her mother to be more affectionate and caring, like April's mom was. He wanted to be like the others and he wanted his mother to be more traditional. Growing up, though, he had understood that Catherine loved him more then she loved herself and he admired her immensely now. Without the help of his father, she did a great job, teaching him how to be independent and determined in following his dreams. He loved her, she was a great mother. Just very stressful to handle sometimes.

Jackson was almost arrived when his phone rang. As soon as he saw April's picture on the screen he smiled. More than a month has passed now from their first messages exchange and he could tell that his life had taken an interesting twist since then. Talking to her and rediscovering that part of his life he had almost forgotten had been like a Prozac to him. Thanks to April and her affectionate reassurances he'd been able to start writing again. She had wanted to read his first novel and her passionate review was probably the most interesting one he had ever received. April was able to change his mood and cheer him up like no one else. Every day, he couldn't wait to receive a message from her or talking to her and he couldn't help but feeling disappointed when he knew she was with Matthew. Jackson was starting to fear his feelings. In the last days, he had started to think of her like something more than just his newfound best friend. He had started noticing all the small details about her: the way in which she curled her hair when she was talking, the embarrassed tone of her voice when he complimented her about something, the beautiful dimples when she laughed, the way she cracked and massaged her neck after spending too much time skyp-ing at the computer. And he found it all so damn sexy. At first, he thought he was only idealizing her. April was the better part of his childhood and he knew everyone always tend to idealize their past somehow. Plus, the whole we-found-eachother-again-thanks-to-some-destiny's-trick-and-now-I'm-single-and-you're-beautiful-and-I-kinda-want-you thing was the perfect starting for a classic rom-com and maybe it was messing with his head, making him see romance where there really was just a great friendship. Jackson was soon realizing, though, that the innocent feelings he had for her when they were kids were totally still there, except that the innocent part of them was nowhere to be seen apparently. He knew he was at a turning point now; he had to decide if he wanted to expose himself and his feelings to her and consequently risk their newfound friendship or if it was better to let things as they were, waiting for his crush to pass.

"Hey you!" He said, smiling, answering her call.

"Hi Jackson! How are you?"

"Fine…going to meet my mom for breakfast! You? You haven't called yesterday, I missed you."

"I know...I'm sorry, I missed you too! I just had this crazy day at work and then Matthew took me to dinner so…"

"Right." Matthew again. He was starting to really hate the poor man, "did you have fun?" he asked, trying to fake interest.

"Hum, yes…it was nice. I just…What about Skype-night tonight?" she blurted out, almost embarrassed, "I'll finally be at my place…Matt wanted to have a welcome-party or whatever but I'd really prefer to enjoy my little house alone at first…or, well…with you at the other end of the pc…You'll probably have something better to do though, so don't worry if you can't…" her voice sounded shy and Jackson couldn't help but smile widely, knowing she preferred to spend the night talking to him instead of being with her boyfriend.

"Actually I'm free tonight so…call you at 9?"

"Hum…yeah, perfect!"

"Ok…I have to go now, I'm in front of the cafeteria and my mom is looking at me through the window. She'll probably bombard me with questions to know who I was talking to, want to bet?"

"I have no doubts," April said, laughing "say hallo to Catherine for me. See you later then, well, kind of."

Jackson smiled "Sure! Have a great day, bye April!"

He then put the phone back in his jeans pocket and entered the cafeteria, approaching his mother, waiting for him. Their waffles already on the small table.

"Hi sweetheart! You're late," she said, standing up to hug her son.

"Yeah, I know... I'm sorry" he said, sitting down in front of her.

"So…April, huh? New girl?"

Jackson rolled his eyes "You and your ability to read lips!"

"So? Something to tell me?"

"Well...actually yes. She's not my new girlfriend…she's my best friend and you kind of know her already," he smiled, "April Kepner…Moline…remember?"

Catherine looked at him surprised "Kepner? Your adorable childhood's sweetheart? I didn't know you two were still in touch!"

"We weren't…but she found me on Facebook a month ago...and so…we're friends again, like the old time I would say. And her mother wants to talk to you by the way! She asked me to give you her number…I totally forgot!"

"Well, well, well… now I understand why you were such in a good mood lately! April Kepner always had this effect on you...you were so adorable, all in love with this dorky friend of yours!"

"Mom! Don't even start! 15 years had passed, if you haven't noticed. We're adults now, can we stop talking about my old crush?"

"Nope. Not if it isn't old at all. I know you, Jackson. I saw the look in your eyes when you were talking to her on the phone…she's not just a friend!"

Jackson tried to tell something but Catherine immediately stopped him "…And before you say anything, ok, I know, you don't want to talk about this with me. But your eyes aren't fooling me baby" she smiled.

"Whatever." Jackson said, eating his waffles "I don't even know why you're so happy by the way. You usually bombard me with questions about my girlfriends and then decide if they are worth your precious son" he smirked

Catherine laughed "Well…I was waiting for you to call her your girlfriend first! Now that you said it, we can move on with the questions" she smirked, noticing Jackson frustration.

"I didn't mean…" he tried to add, when she stopped him again "So, if I remember well, she wanted to become a surgeon just like me… is she a surgeon?"

Jackson rolled his eyes, knowing he couldn't escape his mother's questions "Hum…not. She's still a doctor though, a veterinarian precisely. "

"Ah… well, better than nothing I guess".

"Mom! Don't be a snob like always, please. She's smart and she could very well be the best surgeon in the Country. She just decided that she was more interested in veterinary, is that bad?!"

"Don't get mad baby. I'm not saying anything bad about your sweetheart!" Catherine smiled, teasing him "I'm sure she's a smart veterinarian and she has a nice job…at least she's helping someone, right? And she's working…"

"And here we are again…" Jackson said, knowing exactly what his mother was insinuating.

"Jackson…come on. You did an amazing job with your novel, and I'm proud of you. But three years had passed and you're still waiting for inspiration. Now it's not a shame if you decide that it is better to accept your grandpa's invitation. The foundation is yours too. You can become part of it now, if you want."

"That's the problem. I don't want to. Is that so hard to understand?! I'm a writer! And yes, I had a bit of a crisis lately but you know what? I'm writing again! And I'm also positive my new story going to be good!"

"Oh, that's amazing sweetheart! I'm glad to know it…but please, if you'll ever…"

"..need a real steady job, I know I can count on you and grandpa. Yes."

Catherine pager went off. She rolled her eyes while checking it "They have to call me on Sundays too, now. It's the hospital, I guess I have to go now." She said, smiling when she noticed Jackson's face lighten up "you could at least pretend to be disappointed, you know that? It's courtesy!"

Jackson laughed "Sorry but my interrogation just ended…can't I be happy about it?"

"Right…saved by the bell, I guess" Catherine smiled, hugging her son.

"Say hi to April for me, honey. And send me her mother's number…so we can talk about our future grandbabies!"

"Oh boy, go away, leave me alone!" he said, laughing and pushing her toward the exit.


End file.
